As discussed here, directing attention is a controllable mental process, and as discussed here, directing attention is part of our definition of rumination. Sometimes people feel like they can’t stop paying attention to something; this is especially a problem for people with sensorimotor OCD. The key to solving this problem is differentiating between something being in awareness and directing attention towards it. A theoretical discussion of that difference can be found here; the following exercise is meant to provide an experience of the difference. I believe a combination of theoretical and experiential learning is particularly helpful with this topic, so I encourage you to read the theoretical article in conjunction with doing the exercise below. With all that said, here is how to stop paying attention:
Let’s start by paying attention to whatever it is you don’t want to be paying attention to.
Now what I want you to do is to stop directing your attention towards whatever that is…
It won’t leave your awareness; it’ll sort of hover there. You’re going to let it be there, and gently let go of directing your attention towards it…
I’m not asking you to actively direct your attention elsewhere, just to let go of directing your attention towards that. Directing attention is like mentally holding onto something. You don’t need to grab onto something else; just let go of that…
Allow your attention to wander. This is a passive process, not an active one; you are letting go of actively directing your attention. If it lands on something else, that’s fine. That’ll happen eventually, but you’re not forcing it…
If you stop directing your attention towards the thing you’re trying not to pay attention to, that thing will eventually wander out of your awareness…
And every so often it’ll come back into your awareness, or perhaps your attention will shift back to it for a moment, and that’s fine. Again, just let it hover in awareness without directing your attention towards it. Eventually it will leave your awareness again…
In the moments when it comes back into awareness, it might not be possible to tell the difference between awareness and attention, and that’s okay; don’t worry too much about exactly where that line is. Just do your best to let it be there without directing your attention towards it…
Just let it hover in awareness without trying to push it out…
And gently let go of directing attention towards it…
Hopefully this exercise will help you to experience the difference between being aware of something and directing your attention towards it. Applying this to your everyday life requires practice, so give yourself some time. Keep in mind that differentiating between awareness and attention has to be done gently.
Please also note that just for the purposes of this exercise you were asked not to actively direct your attention elsewhere, in order to show you that it’s possible to stop directing your attention towards one thing without directing it towards another thing. But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to direct your attention towards something else, and in real life you’ll often be directing your attention towards something else. Just make sure you’re not trying to push anything out of awareness. Like in the exercise, just let it be there without directing attention towards it, and it will eventually leave your awareness…
And then it will come back, and that’s fine since you’ll know exactly what to do…
And the more confident you get in your ability to implement that strategy, the less scared you’ll be of it entering your awareness…
And the less scared you are, the less attention you’ll pay when that happens…
And the less attention you pay, the less it will happen…
Until this problem is completely gone.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Should I pay attention to something else? (I.e., Should I distract myself?)
Think of your attention as mentally holding onto something. You just need to let go; you don’t need to grab onto something else.
So you can pay attention to something else, but you don’t have to.
Just be sure you’re not trying to use distraction to force something out of awareness, because that won’t work: You can’t force something out of awareness. Trying to force something out of awareness will actually keep it in awareness, since in the process of trying to force it out you are directing attention towards it. For further discussion see here.
Should I avoid paying attention to other things? (I.e., What if I get distracted?)
No, you do not need to stop yourself from paying attention to other things. It’s just not necessary. Again, for further discussion see here.
I get nervous every time it comes into my awareness.
That’s understandable, since in the past you would get stuck whenever that happened, but it’s actually perfectly okay if it comes into your awareness. In fact, that means it left your awareness, which is great. Every time this happens is an opportunity to practice and build your confidence. In fact, you may want to consider setting reminders to bring it into awareness on purpose.
What about when I’m in bed at night and there’s nothing else to pay attention to?
You don’t need to direct your attention towards one thing to stop directing it towards another thing, so it doesn’t matter if there’s anything else to pay attention to. Metaphorically, imagine if you were in bed and you were holding onto a teddy bear. Could you let go of them even if there were nothing else in your bed to hold onto? The answer is yes. Just gently let go of the bear.